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A Thought for the Day:
The last week has been (for lack of a less-dramatic, more sophisticated word) totes insane. ;) I feel like my heart has not beat at it's regular rhythm since last sunday due play-induced stress, assignments turned in late, immense joy from having my mother here, and the thrills of new discoveries.
My mind feels like it's careening ahead in several different directions while my body stumbles perilously behind in order to keep the pace. And yet, it's a beautiful terrifying kind of insanity. :) A kind that I've never quite experienced before. To be honest, I still haven't been able to slow down long enough to process it all.
So this morning, when I woke up at 7 without being prompted by any sort of alarm, I knew that I had to spend some time in prayer. After getting ready for school I made my way up to our little prayer chapel, and half-kneeled, half-collapsed onto the prayer benches.
Usually when I pray the words just sort of pour out of me, unfettered by any sort of filter. At first, I thought something was wrong when, as I sat on my knees in the dimly-lit room, no words came to mind. My prayer began, haltingly and unsure. I tried to really think about what I was saying before the mighty King, and not slip into any sort of habitual process of praying. About half way through, I made a discovery.
"Lord, I pray that I would love you so much, that nothing else would matter."
Then I stopped myself. What was I saying? How often had I said these words before, without every pausing to think of the natural implications. I amended my statement.
"Lord, I pray that I would love you so much that everything would matter."
Every action, every word, every thought. All of it should reflect that love. Regardless of any formal christianese way of doing things or looking at the world, the people that I come in contact with should mean an incredible deal to me. God is reflected in each one of his children, and so each one is of inherent value. Each moment in life should be counted as precious. To go through life caring about nothing would be a complete waste. In fact, to say that you care about nothing else but God, in the strictest sense, is not caring about him at all. To think! How easy it is to use God as an excuse to distance yourself from others, hiding behind the wall of "complete godly devotion."
This thought is very raw and undeveloped, but it was so fascinating to me that I thought I should share it.
March 2012
First, I would
just like to thank everyone who read my blog post and/or sent me encouragement.
God really used the article to bless me in more ways than I would have guessed.
I was especially surprised at the amount of guys (at least at my school) who
were encouraged by the post.
I still have so
much to elaborate on, but have decided to wait and let it sort itself out more
in my mind and in my conversation with others.
One of my guy
friends messaged me wishing to continue the conversation, which led to many
questions.
Context
I love my
school. I’m pretty sure there isn’t another school in the country that is as
perfect for me as this one. This includes the people. I love them so incredibly
much. As some friends put it recently (and I’m paraphrasing here), “if the
world were coming down on us, I would fight back to back with you” (it sounded
way cooler when they said it). I would run into any fire to save all of my
friends here at Patrick Henry College, so deep is my affection for them. That
being said…
I am so stinkin
tired of the rumor mill, not just because of the rumors themselves but because
of how they damage friendships and put an unhealthy pressure on emotions. This isn't specific to my college either. It's prevalent throughout most of what is recognized as the conservative christian community. Let
me explain.
Charlie likes
Claire, but isn’t really planning on doing anything about it because he doesn’t
want to be in a relationship/likes another girl too/wants to keep his options
open… take your pick. However, Claire finds out that Charlie likes her, and
immediately thinks “Oh no! I need to completely back off so that he doesn’t get
the wrong idea.” In the end, you have two frustrated people who have just lost
a friendship. The exact same thing can happen in the opposite direction.
This gives undue
weight to emotions, more so than necessary. Emotions are powerful, yes, but I
believe that we shouldn’t trust them (they are God given, but that does not
constitute a full dependency on them when wishing to know our own desires). It
is perfectly natural for boys to like girls, and girls to like boys. What
counts is what you do with those emotions.
At the risk of
sounding preachy, or offering a concrete solution, I’ve found that in the event
that a young girl finds out that one of her guy friends likes her, she should
completely drop the friendship so as not to hurt his feelings and keep him “emotionally
safe”…? By no means! I don’t mean to sound sarcastic. Girls definitely should
not intentionally lead a guy on if there is no interest on her side. Then
again if you’re flirting with someone when you find out he likes you, the
bigger problem is that you were leading him on to begin with, not how much you
need to scale back so as to not hurt him. That’s probably something a girl
should think about in the first place.
So, back to
Charlie and Claire. The ideal situation is that Claire would continue to treat
Charlie as a godly brother in Christ, conscious of the information she has
received, and careful in her actions, but still just as much as a friend. There
are usually two things that will happen at this point. 1) If the guy is seriously
interested, he’ll tell her and ask her out in which case she can say no
politely, and they can take things from there. Or 2) the guy’s emotions will
blow over (as is most often the case), and their friendship will continue as it
was before, and perhaps be richer because of it.
So now the Questions:
I’ll be thinking
about these over the next few weeks. Some thoughts I’ll share, others I won’t
(I’m currently reading Perelandra, but if anyone has any other material that
they found enlightening, I would love to read/listen/watch it).
In light of my
last article, what are some practical things that girls can do to encourage men
to pursue godly manliness? Maybe it isn’t a list, but more of a mindset?
What would young
men say are the most fundament aspects of being a real man? How does that
compare with what girls think?
I’ve recently
been told that when a young woman likes a young man, she should encourage him
in such a way so that he is confident in pursuing her (the idea of leading the
man without him realizing that you are leading). How should this differ from the
sisterly/godly encouragement that young men want to receive in order to push
them towards manliness?
What do guys see
as the main distinction between sisterly/godly encouragement and flirtation?
How do the
answers to all these questions compare between guys and girls? Are there any
differences in the answers so significant as to cause confusion between the
sexes?
Dr. Esolen has
spoken of a wasteland. While it’s great to talk about reclaiming it, what does
that look like practically?
There are so
many more questions that will arise, and I realize that these aren’t easy, one
word answers. But I would really love to hear thoughts, not only from men, but
also from young women.
If it isn’t
already obvious, I don’t know the answers to these questions. I feel so
inexperienced and ill-equipped to head up any sort of discussion on such
matters. A lot of the things that I speak against, I am completely guilty of
doing myself.
What I wish to
emphasize here is that there is a curiosity that has arisen in me, that is
mirrored by those around me. It is one that I have decided to pursue. Are there
concrete answers to all of these questions? I don’t believe so. I am not
seeking to unveil the mysteries of the opposite sex so as to understand them
more (as fascinating a subject as that is). I simply wish to dialogue about the
interaction between guys and girls, and how it has swung between extremes over
the last few years. As in all things, I want to bring glory to God in all that
I do. If this discussion does nothing but bring one man or woman closer to
understanding his or her purpose as a child of God, I would count myself
incredibly honored to be the tool God uses to communicate truth.
Again, I feel so
inadequate to facilitate such a conversation, but I realize that any truth that
comes about from this is because God himself is at work in the hearts and minds
and words of those who participate. Soli Deo Gloria.
Blessings,
Belle
“A day spent without the sight or sound of beauty, the contemplation of
mystery, or the search of truth or perfection is a poverty-stricken day; and a
succession of such days is fatal to human life.”
It would be
silly of me to say that there are no words to describe all that I wish to
communicate, and then proceed to do just that which I said I could not. Yet, it
should be noted that the words I use to express my thoughts in this post are
entirely insufficient in communicating all that I wish to.
A bit of
context: I recently went to Alabama for an event called the Whatley Stew
Cookin. It’s been held every year for the past 18 years of so. The Whatley
family opens their home for a day and serves gallons upon gallons of stew and
pounds of barbecue to at least a couple hundred people. Food never runs out. I
was blessed with the opportunity to drive down with some amazing individuals
and help set up the day before. The event itself was spectacular, and I had
some (surprisingly) tasty hors d’oeuvres. ;)
The lessons I
learned are innumerable, but I will try to extrapolate on one.
Being around godly men inspires a young
woman to godliness. Here
at college, I have the great privilege of knowing some of the most amazing
young guys I have ever met. There are so many here who love the Lord with all
their hearts and seek to pursue him in everything they do. They honor and
respect women, and yet are still super fun to be around. That alone has been
entirely refreshing. However, like the young ladies on campus, these young guys
are still learning to be men.
In the same way
that I have a countless amount of lessons to learn before I rid myself of some
of the immaturities that hint of girlhood, most of the guys here have a long
way to go before they will ever be more man than boy. I could go on for much
longer about how important it is for girls to treat boys as men, with respect
etc, but that is for another time. Some students, mostly in the junior and
senior class, are much further along than us underclassmen.
In Alabama, for the first time I believe, I interacted
with what I consider to be real men. Men of upstanding character, who honor
women immensely, who work hard without complaining and without being prompted.
I met men who were able to be strong, authoritative, and even forceful when
interacting with other men or setting up things for the event. The next moment
they were tenderly kissing their wives and playing with their children. Even
back in Oregon, this kind of man is usually nowhere to be found. Let me make it
clear that this kind of character does not depend on occupation. While it is
easier to see the strong manliness of one who is employed in manual labor, I
was able to see the same kind of character in lawyers, and even a senator who
was at the Cookin.
Seeing this
example of godliness was more than refreshing. It was inspiring. I finally was
meeting men like my father (if you know me well at all, you will know that I
honestly believe my father to be the most hard-working, wise, loving, honorable,
strong, godly man in the world, and I have never met anyone like him…until this
weekend). It was encouraging to know that I could set my standards on someone
like that, knowing that men with such character really do exist.
I can already
hear my critical guy friends (who I love ;) :)) saying all sorts of things
about how girls should not set their standards outrageously high, because no
young man will ever live up to the challenge, and both parties will be
disappointed. Or perhaps, the problem is in how women will wait forever for a
man like that, while never giving him any encouragement expecting him to do all
of the initiating in any sort of relationship.
I have three
things to say to this. 1) I absolutely believe girls should never lower their
standards or settle for a man of less than upstanding character merely because
there seems to be no such man. I have seen them. I know y’all exist out there somewhere.
;) Likewise, I think men should desire women of strong character. If both sexes
set their standards in such a way, perhaps there would be more motivation on
both ends to become that stronger people. 2) If a girl likes a young man, there
is no reason she should hide in her room and lock the door, then wait for him
to come bursting through (this I believe is the more conservative Christian
approach). On the opposite end, I have seen far too many girls throw themselves
at young men. There is a balance. I have no idea how to explain it, but what’s
important is that I recognize it is there. 3) I don’t pretend to have all the
answers, or even most of the answers. I am an infant in matters such as these.
What I do have is the beginnings of a foundation for rethinking my views on men
and relationships.
In a journalism
article, you’re supposed to put the most relevant thing at the top, that way if
people don’t read the entirety of your story, they will still get the important
stuff. Unfortunately, I did not hold to that model in this post. What I am to
conclude with is the most important thing I learned. I can only pray to God that
my meaning and purpose is not lost behind the thick curtain of language and
ill-phrased ideas.
For the first
time, I realized what kind of man I wanted to be desirable to. All other
examples faded away when I witnessed men of such godliness working hard to
bring glory to God’s kingdom.
But then I realized I should not seek to become honorable so that I may be desirable to other godly men.
But then I realized I should not seek to become honorable so that I may be desirable to other godly men.
Rather, it is absolutely necessary that I
become a godly woman so that I may be
desirable to the only being in the world that matters. I should desire the
fruit of the spirit because it is that kind of woman that God desires as his
daughter.
God should not
only be the means to achieving what I wish, but also the end. His opinion is
the only one that truly matters. If I have pleased God, there is no other
satisfaction that can ever compare, no reward so precious or so desirable, than
that of serving God. Being around the kind of men that I have described,
revealed to me a clearer image of God, and led me to realize just how important
it is to place him at the forefront of every thought, ambition, and desire. So
thank you so much.
Don’t think this
doesn’t apply to young men as well, because I think the same could be said of
them.
Thank you so
much for listening to my rant. :)
Blessings,
Belle
In addendum:
I’ve given this a lot of thought. My ideas are influenced by many serious
circumstances that the Lord has placed in my life. Since this wasn’t a
conversation, there are probably some things that seem questionable. Though I
feel inadequate in sharing anything of great wisdom, if you have any further
questions, don’t hesitate to email me at idinablueyes@gmail.com.
These ideas were also based on a lecture given by Dr. Anthony Esolen. It was one of the best lectures I've heard, and I would encourage everyone to listen to it.
You can view it here: The Person As Gift
Don't have a whole lot of time to post. But I wanted to share something that I've recently discovered. I had made a goal to spend an hour with the Lord every day.
Sadly, I missed tuesday.
Thankfully, the Lord is merciful and his mercies are new every morning.
So, here's what I've been doing.:
Using an online ESV bible concordance, I looked up all references of the world "satisfy." There were 20, so I recorded them on the back and front of an index card. Then, I proceeded to look up the references in my bible (after putting my computer away so it wouldn't distract), and reading them in context. Next, I recorded the verses onto the index card, giving a line to each verse. After I had completed my search, I tried to find the themes with all the verses to learn more about what it means to "satisfy." I recorded my thoughts on the front of an index card (in very tiny writing... I had a lot to say ;) :)) And then paper-clipped the cards together.
Time: 1 hour and 10 minutes. The best thing I did all day. :)
I've since done the words "Fullness" (which has 18 references) and "Understanding" according to Proverbs (31 references). I really am so excited about this new way of studying. I don't know if this would benefit anyone, but if there's something that you really want to know more about - joy, patience, covenant, endurance, purity - I would challenge you to search through the word. Not in the same way I did, but as deeply as you can. God will certainly reward his children when they seek his council.
Blessings to you all.
How horrid it is
to awake
At four am
during spring break
The week’s just
begun
But I think it’s
fun
To get up right
on time and not flake
On my dearest of
friends who requires
Assistance with
all she aspires.
Her plan to go
flying
Includes me
driving
But I do it,
cause she, I admire.
A wonderful chat
on the way
“I’ll miss you
so much,” we both say,
A hug and a
prayer
Then out of the
air,
A wonderful
start to my day.
An old country
tune fills the air
As I, with tired
eyes, only stare
At the road up
ahead
While in my head
I’m filled with
such wonder and care
For God up above
who just listens,
As my sleep
deprived eyes slightly glisten
Has given me
strength
With such depth
and such length,
A child of his,
am I christened.
The hour’s too
early to think
So after my
praying I just blink
Away all my
thoughts
And rub out my
knotts
As I make it
back with ne’er a chink.
Alas I have
misplaced my key
But with
shocking a-gil-it-y
A guard comes
a-skipping
Surprising - the
skipping -
But he lets me
in, sans a plea.
So happy am I to
be warm
And the sheets,
they work just like a charm
At bringing me
sleep
So my dreams
they will keep
To the actual
dawn of the morn.
Now four, plus
some more, makes eleven
Each hour a
blessing from heaven.
Now leaping
awake
My arm almost
breaks
By the way, the
“some more” equals seven ;)
An afternoon
spent with dear Charlotte
Deep
conversations allotted
To time in the
car
While once in
the store
She just studies,
while I give a sho-ot.
I’m afraid that
my skills come up short
When rhymes I am
trying to contort
So I can make
sense
Before we
commence
To the store so
that meals, we assort.
And now I feel
ever so silly
And the day
grows more and more chilly
So now it is
time
To collect all
my dimes
And bid all of
you fond farewell.
P.S. We plan on watching Hugo, and the week is shaping up to be very lovely indeed. Also, I apologize for the quality of this poem. Limericks are especially hard for me to do. Plus, poetry is hard to write when I'm happy. It flows much more easily when I'm depressed. Here's an example of a better limerick in my opinion. :)
Lizzy's Puppy
Lizzy's Puppy
Rather than dramatize a ho-hum event, I've put it to poem. However, it is still quite dramatic. Take it as you will. :)
A quiet
stillness fills her heart
As through the
rain they drive,
The world around
her swirling
Ever vibrant and
alive
The words lay
frozen in her soul,
Though seeking
for release
Wishing for the
open air
So all may be at
peace.
The time’s not
come and so must she,
With tight and
baited breath
Move along and
look not back,
And put all hope
to death.
A journey out
under the drops
That cool and
ease her fears,
While she with
ever fix-ed gaze,
Finds solace in
her tears
A bag of
groceries in each hand
She strolls
without a word,
Not trusting
speech or counsel
Now that all the
lines are blurred
Between all that
of which she knows -
All logic and
all sense,
And all of that
which she deserves -
No chance of
recompense
A parting word,
then out again
Into the dreary
eve,
Not homeward
bound, but moving on
Needing solace
and reprieve
The mud and rain
soak through her shoes
And yet, she’s
not distraught
For though she
freezes more and more
She’s lost
within her thoughts
The weather all
around reflects
The conflict in
her soul
She wrestles
with the elements
To clearly see
her goal
Alas the rain
proves far too thick
The wind too
great to fight
So she must now
with calm resolve
Forget about her
plight
And try to find
that peace of mind
That she longs
ever for
While building
up the fallen walls
And locking up
the door
So as she enters
home at last,
Soaked through,
though safe and sound
Her heart is
finally closed again
Quite hidden and
quite bound
A shower quickly
warms her bones,
And make-up
hides her grief
While always
does the Mighty Lord
Alone, bring her
relief.
And sleep, which
buries sorrow so
Creeps soft into
her mind
The doors are locked, the walls quite strong
And now comes He
to slip along
And fill her
dreams with endless song
Her will to Him
confined