Life never really seems to meet your expectations.

I had low expectations about Snow White and the Huntsman. I expected it to be a total waste of money. Even though the plot line was "eh," it was surprisingly entertaining (in the mindless sort of way).

I had high expectations that the ice cream I ate tonight would be totally worth the splitting headache and awful stomachache I knew would soon follow.... It wasn't. :P :)


I expected tonight to be a very different night.

I kept pretty busy today, running from errand to errand. One of my best friends was visiting from Portland so I was able to spend the evening with her. She rode a jet ski for the first time, and we had a lovely time catching up. True, it had only been a few weeks, but I missed her. :) I got her home (Rogue River) on time and everything. However, as I wound around and through the mountains of rogue river, a Shall We Dance played on my iPod, and I could no longer ignore the fact that tonight had been very different than I had planned.

It's funny how God takes things away from us and then gives them back. It's also really confusing. How do we know if God is warning us about a bad thing, or if Satan is merely trying to corrupt a good thing? Usually, I would have answered "just make a decision, then you'll know for sure." God doesn't want us to just sit around and wait for Him to give us the thumbs up. I believe he wants us to make decisions on our own, which is why I would tell people that if they don't know what the answer is, just make a decision and you'll find out..... Now? Not so much.

I keep wondering, how do you muster the courage to get back on your feet when you keep getting knocked down? The most obvious answer: cling to God and expect him to lift you. At least, that's what the bible says. But what the hec does that look like??? I mean seriously...?

Now to answer my own question. It means continuing in what you know is good and honorable. When you don't know whether or not something is right, the best thing to do is to strive to be "above reproach." See, but even as I type out those words they sound so hollow. Failed expectations, especially when you were expecting more out of a situation can be hurtful, devastating even. So then, what happens when the words that have worked so many times, lose their meaning and become and another empty expression that you use to help you face each day? Perhaps this is all a bit melodramatic. I don't mean for it to be.

What I would like to say is that I never doubt God has a perfect plan for my life. That I always rejoice in my circumstances because I know God is in control. Or that I never complain, knowing that God knows what is best for me. But the truth is I don't actually do those things. While I believe God has a perfect plan for my life, I worry and fret constantly about what is around the bend. And though I am able to find joy in my circumstances, I often focus on man's power and his influence over my happiness. And finally, I complain all the time. Seriously. All. the. time. I love that line from the song "Blessings."

"We doubt your goodness, we don't your love, as if every promise from your word is not enough." 

The song focuses on God's unexpected blessings in the tears and trials of life. This post isn't about theology, or a certain agenda that I'm trying to present. It isn't about what the answer is or isn't, so please don't think that I'm offering explanations or answers. God knows I don't have either. But I do have God's word. And that has everything we could need. Anyone who says otherwise hasn't really read it. I'm not presuming to have complete knowledge of the bible, anymore so than any other christian. But I know that no matter what emotion I'm dealing with, God has a way of bringing me back to truth through his word.

"But as for me, my prayer is to you O Lord. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance or your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness." Psalm 69:13

I love this verse, and it's helped me a good deal. The fact of the matter is, life rarely meets our expectations, because we have no way of knowing what's going to happen or what is good for us. If life were always as we expected, how boring would that be? And we would never learn anything.

This post is jumbled, a bit disjointed, and maybe even downright confusing. But God isn't any of those things, which is kind of nice. :) Oh, how much can we lean on him for support and encouragement, when life fails to meet our expectations.

Personal Revelation: It's so nice when all that is left is pain. Anger is exhausting. Confusion is exhausting. Hatred is exhausting. But pain... you can learn to live with pain. 

God promises us the most amazing things. I read this just this morning

"Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me. I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God. But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness." Psalm 69:1-3;13

I trust so completely in God's direction for my life, that I could never doubt his unfailing love nor his control over my plans even for a minute. A friend posted on Facebook and reminded me how important God's love is (in response to a quote about sovereignty). His love and sovereignty are so inextricably linked that without one the other is pointless. A loving God is powerless without sovereignty, and a sovereign God is merciless without love. Both are so key in understanding our lives as his children on this earth.

God is good.

"My God will provide all my needs, according to his riches in glory. He will give his angels charge over me." Some Sunday School song that is playing in my head. I can't remember the name of it, but it's stuck in my head. :)

P.S. Qualification: When I speak of God's sovereignty, it is with the understanding that personal responsibility and action in faith is just as important.