March 2011

Sick. Very very very sick.

Lemons
Tomorrow:
Spinney Test
Full day of classes
Meeting a YWAM director (M77 stuff)
Four hour rehearsal

Sautrday:
5K IJM marathon
3 hours of rehearsal
My first gig playing in a coffee shop

Sunday:
Write two papers
Read a ton



Lemonade
- Chaedon thought to give me a travel pack of tissues. :)
- Also talked extensively with Chaedon about the power of free verse of meter poetry. ;) :)
- Was able to reconnect with a friend from back home (not medford, but OR), and got to find out some awesome news from him! (Congrats. Again. :))
- When I walked to my room this evening it was covered with sticky notes and words of encouragement, as well as adorable pictures. :) Still don't know who it is but I love them! :)
- Claire and I studied for nearly 4 1/2 hours and had a blast
- Stephen was his usual cheeky self, and made me laugh. a lot. which also made me cough. thanks a lot. :P ;) :)
- Was given a yellow rose, plus, I have a with a white rose, a pink rose, and another yellow rose. They're pretty dead now, but looking at them reminded me when I got them and how huge they were. It makes me smile. :)
- I hung two gorgeous paintings I got for $5 all by myself!
- I get to spend every day with some of the most amazing people I have ever met



Praise be to the Lord!!!!

The Lord will carry me through to sunday. Our God is so beyond incredible.

"The Lord is my strength and my song. He (and I add He ALONE) is my salvation." 

Good Grief

Posted on

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Category

,

Has literally been dashing madly about since 7:30 this morning... But!

1. I have my schedule for this summer and next semester registered for
2. I have the next three years planned out
3. I have my classes rearranged for the next two weeks
4. I finished my W&E assignment two minutes before midnight!
5. I was able to work on CB
6. I wrote flashcards for the second to last lecture

God be praised!!!!!!

1. I have a test this friday
2. I have three papers I need to work on
3. I'm taking 18 credits next semester
4. I'm taking 9 credits over the summer
5. My brain is fried

God be praised!!!!!!

Breathe, Relax, Smile, Repeat
-Advice to myself

Wide/Weary Eyes

Posted on

Monday, March 28, 2011

Category

,

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep." ~ Dale Carnegie 







It's Too Late

Posted on

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Category

,

via amostpeculiarmademoiselle 

For those of you who are especially gifted when it comes to computer blogs and design and stuff, could you shoot me an email? I want to change my look and have no idea where to begin. :)

Studying on the whiteboard: Best way to do it. :)
Shirt = Given to me by Michelle Carillo <3

I had to literally go through every single one before I found the right one. :P

Those Days

Posted on

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I was sitting in the airplane with 20 minutes left of battery life so I decided to write a story. The special thing about this story is that I had no idea what I was writing when I began it, or even by the time I finished it. I just wrote the first thing that came to my mind. Any allegorical things are totally accidental. I mean, John and I had fun reading into it, but honestly, this wasn't anything. It was just a brain dump. This is what I had up there. :) 
P.S. I've also made no edits


Once upon a time in a land far away there lived a beautiful fish. This fish had so many colors on in it that you couldn’t tell which color it was. The colors didn’t blend; they remained very separate. However, they didn’t look like the rainbow. When a passer by would look at the fish they wouldn’t think about what color it was, but if they tried to pin one color on it they would soon find that no matter how hard they tried they couldn’t quite figure out what color it was. It was too green to be blue, but too purple to be green. On second glance it was too red to be purple. It wasn’t a wine color either. It was a combination of colors. This fish definitely had it’s own distinct color, it’s just that no one knew what that color was. It wasn’t a new color either. This fish didn’t really stand out in a crowd. It was incredibly vibrant. It had big eyes and a tiny mouth, but of which the fish was self-conscious about. The fish’s scales weren’t quite circles, but there were so many sides that it seemed the scales were circles. However, upon closer examination a person would be able to tell that each scale had 100’s of sides, and just as many angles, but a person really had to look. The fish like to jump around a lot. It was special because it didn’t have to be in the water. It could be on land and water. It never stayed still, and when it was still it always seemed lost in a daze.

One day a little boy decided to watch the fish. He had curly blonde hair that continually got in his eyes. He kept trying to push it away with his chubby little fist. However, one must not think that the little boy was chubby. He was quite little, not thin, but definitely on the smaller side. (Random side note: the fish’s eyes were black). The boy had big dark brown eyes that contrasted sharply with his blonde hair. He wasn’t especially pale, but he wasn’t tan either. He had no pink in his skin, but he was still definitely Caucasian. He had a small face, which made his enormous eyes stand out even more, but not in a morbid creepy way; just like someone who has adorable big eyes. He had a small mouth, but he had the adorable habit of biting his upper lip and sticking out his bottom lip which always made his mouth appear much bigger than it actually was.

Anyway, the little boy got in his head that he would watch the fish, and so he did. He was wearing overalls that were just a little bit too big over a red, blue, black, yellow, and white stripped t-shirt. He has his overalls rolled up to his knees as he trundled over to the dock where the fish spent most of it’s time. He came empty handed and came and plopped down on the edge of the dock and dangled his feet in the slightly warm water and waited for the fish to appear.

Now the fish could hear the boy coming from a mile away so she swam very deep so that he couldn’t see her but she could still see him. As soon as she saw his inquisitive  big brown eyes starring intently into the water her cold blooded heart melted. What a sweet mouth, what an adorable head of hair, what lovely eyes! Now this fish had always been smart enough not to get caught, so she decided to tease her new fascination for a bit, but never venture close enough for him to catch her, and that’s exactly what she did. For the next several hours she swam to the surface for only a second before quickly diving  below the depths. As she continued to tease the boy she got bolder. She would swim up from under the dock and nibble gently at his feet making him jump. Then she would dash out from under the dock and splash around in front of him and then dive down again. This delighted the boy beyond anything else. He eventually plopped down on his stomach and stared contentedly into the water and watched as the beautiful indescribable fish jumped and danced and splashed in front of him.

Now the fish was just getting ready to call it quits when, on accident, she jumped to high and too far and landed on the dock right in front of the boy’s face. Now as I mentioned earlier the fish was fully capable of breathing on land, but that didn’t mean she was terrified of it. The last time she had ventured out on shore she had been stepped on by a group of teenagers, and then a mad had caught her and tried to take off her scales, but she had managed to escape it all. This incidence had happened quite a long time ago so the fish had become a little bolder, but as she hopped onto the dock she was suddenly frozen in terror. Her poor little frame shook so that the boy looked worriedly down at her. As his big brown eyes came closer and closer the fish started to cry. Huge water droplets formed in her eyes and spilled down to the dock.

Now you might say that fish don’t cry, but let me tell you they certainly do. They cry just as much as humans do. They’re just better at hiding it since they live in the water.

The fish didn’t know how long she lay there with the boy’s big eyes starring down curiously at her.

Now all this while the boy had been watching delightedly, but when the fish accidentally hopped on the dock the boy’s curiosity reached new heights. Never before had he seen a fish as close as this! And what eyes! They were so big and black. As he looked into the fishes big black eyes he thought he could see his reflection. He stared without moving for a full minute (which for a young boy is such a very long time). Suddenly an idea came into the young boys mind. He carefully got up and ran to the end of the dock and pulled some rather large leaves off of a nearby bush.

Meanwhile, the poor fightened fish had been waiting expectantly to be stepped on her stabbed or killed, but when the boy jumped up and ran in the opposite direction after staring at her for a full minute (which for a petrified fish is a very long time) a new emotion overcame her. She was ever so curious.  And it was her curiostity that kept her from running away.

The boy soon came back with a handful of leaves. He then quickly set about making a small path to the end of the dock. After adjusting his work and inspecting it with a comical cocked head he brushed off his hands and stuck them in his pockets.

“There, now you won’t get any splinters when you get back in the water.”

The fish was shocked and again was frozen but this time by a very peculiar emotion. One she couldn’t quite place her finger on. Suddenly, the emotion’s name dawned on the fish and now in pure panic the fish hopped quickly on the path of leaves back into the water (If you haven’t noticed by now, when fish are confused they recycle through various emotions).

The boy smiled and clapped delightedly as the beautiful fish splashed back into the water. He smiled happily, very pleased with himself. With a pompous, but comically sweet grin on his face he stuck his hands deep in his pockets, turned his back on the fish and loped down the dock whistling a merry little tune.

The fish watched him go and after he had completely disappeared she sank slowly to the depths of the lake, with fresh tears on her eyes, but those tears were so very different from her first ones……. And yet in a way. They were exactly the same. 


Brain Spill

Posted on

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Yes I already posted once today. Sawwy. :)

Here’s The Dealio:

For those of you who know me I like goals and I’m incredibly list happy; especially color-coded lists. Couple that with a lack of purpose in this blog and you have a need for reform. But what kind of reform you may ask? Well, I’ll start by setting a goal. However, I’ll need to give a little background first.

I’m sick. In fact, I’ve been sick for the past two and a half weeks. Granted, I only have a cough, sore throat, and exhaustion, but it’s still annoying. I need to clarify: I am not complaining at all, I’m simply stating the fact. When I look back over the last few months, in fact for quite some time, I always have some sort of small, quite minimal but still ever present sickness; whether it be an over reactive stomach, headaches, pain in my back etc. Now of course, I could credit this to some sort of disease in which case I would 1) be over reacting and 2) need to take more vitamins and supplements than I am already taking (which is a lot, let me tell you).

However, as I look back over the past… however long it’s been, and as I look at my life where it is now, I realize that I’m due for a lifestyle change. Reform as you call it. Now as I sat brooding over how to reform myself (my Western Civ book now limply sitting in my hands) I suddenly realized that I was going about this the wrong way. 

I’m the kind of person who likes to “fix myself” in the sense that I think “You know what? I’m going to get more organized and eat better and exercise more spend at least three hours in the word and I’m going to pray more and love more and become a better person overall and become more self-less.” <- There is a HUGE problem with this way of thinking!! It’s all about me! I’M going to do this, and I’M going to do that. Well guess what?! I’M a no good sinner who can barely tie her shoes in the morning (funny story, let me tell you ;) :) ). So what is all of this getting to?

I need a lifestlye change, but not one that is focused on reforming myself, but rather taking the proper steps and allowing God to mold me and work in me in whatever way he wills. On the surface it may seem easy, but for a person who (now more than ever) wants to stay in control of herself (emotions, thoughts, etc.) this can become extremely hard. How does one go about reforming oneself, but by the power of the Holy Spirit?

Practical Applications:
I’m going to set goals for myself; physical, academic, relational, and emotional goals, but at the center will be my Spiritual goals. Now I would tell you what these goals are, but some of them are incredibly personal.

I’m tired of being sick. I’m tired of being sore. I’m tired of being exhausted. And don’t think these are all physical conditions. Always and only though the Lord’s strength, I want to be well; I want to be healed.

Closing Note:
I’m a realist. I do appreciate love, and optimism, and in several cases I tend to have optimistic tendencies, but at the end of the day I know what my reality is (or at least as much as the Lord has revealed to me). I know that I will never be fully healed, or fully well; after all we do live in a fallen world. But that doesn’t discourage me. Though I see things the way they are I pray that with the Lord’s help I will never stop fighting for what they could be. Cheezy? Yes. But I sincerely mean ever word of it.

I’m going to desperately try to keep a journal and chronicle my proceedings. I will check back with you in a month and tell you how everything is going. In the meantime, the “Little Nothings” and “Countless Inspirations” will continue to fill the walls of my humble little blog.

The Real Closing Note: ;) :)
I tend to get quite loquacious, but I did want to mention one more thing. I want to restate why I have this blog. Especially when it can seem pointless, it’s good to be reminded why I do this to being with. :)

It can become so easy to focus on the depression, hurt, anxiety, and stress in our lives. Sorrow seems to surround us, and it can be easy for to focus on that rather than God's perfect and never ever ending love for us.

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

God always gives us lemonade, we may just not realize it at the time.

That's what this blog is.

Just the lemonade. :)

Late Night Musings

Posted on

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

You know when God gives you those moments? It's the moment where your breath catches. Your feet freeze. Your heart fills, and you have no idea what to do with yourself. At first you want to scream and giggle and hug yourself as you run in circles. But at the same time, you're frozen still in awe and wonder. That happened tonight. What caused it? Don't laugh.

Bubbles. Tons and tons of Bubbles. Let me explain. 

First: Rehearsal began tonight with Marjorie. Marjorie is (I'm not exaggerating) *the* most encouraging person I have ever met. She spills love. Never. In my life. Have I been complimented so much and so *sincerely.* She was so sweet that first I couldn't stop blushing, and then I wanted to cry. I may sound dramatic, but you weren't there. I love her so dearly.

Second: We all got presents. Mine: Bubbles. You have to understand. Bubbles are equivalent to music and cool breezes. They make my heart so full that I have no idea what to do with myself. After rehearsal I immediately started blowing bubbles.

Fetters and I cracked Finding Nemo jokes as we headed to the BHC lobby. When I got there I blew bubbles for a good ten minutes while Marjorie and Amy played in them. Then Amy took over and I tried popping the bubbles with my nose. For those of you who don't know what the BHC lobby looks like. Imagine a lobby that's ceiling is two stories tall. The doors stretch across one side of the room, and a lovely large dark wood (oak?) desk faces the doors. There are big greek-like pillars separating the coffee shop from the lobby. The floor is tile which makes everything echo. It's stunning. Now imagine: 11:15 at night and that lobby is filled with bubbles. Let me tell you. It's heaven. Pure heaven. At one point Marj and I just lay on the lobby floor and looked up at the bubbles as they caught the light and floated into oblivion.

Marj and I decided that this is going to be how my future husband proposes. He will lead me into a room or outside, and there will be bubbles everywhere. Then he will pull out a rainbow colored umbrella and hold it over my head. He will then ask me to marry him. 

Yes it's dramatic, but I tried not to make a big deal about it. I just blew and blew and watched in fascination. It may be shallow, but ::shakes head:: I can't shake that feeling of being totally and completely filled with awe and wonder and..... fullness. It really was amazing.

Thank you so much Lord for the simple pleasures you give me each and every day.

I love You. I. love. You. Lord.

On the plane ride over here I wrote a story about a fish and a young boy. All I did was type. I didn't let myself think ahead, or think at all. I just typed and typed and after 20 minutes I had written a story. :)


I wore a white Ralph Lauren button-up with a knee length grey pencil skirt. I was matching the weather: grey... almost. I also wore bright pink heels. They made me happy in the quiet happiness way. :)


Began the consumption of my giant chocolate kiss. :)


Get distracted looking at The Comforts of Cooking and Buns In My Oven; both adorable cooking blogs. Let's just say I'm really dying to cook and bake right now. :)


This evening I was studying when I heard a blood curdling/stifled scream. I grabbed my jacket and shoes and ran out of the hall and burst into the D1 lobby. No one was moving. :P At first I thought I was going crazy, then I remembered Mouse Trap was having a dress rehearsal in Town Hall, right below me. :)


I ran though the rain to BHC in my black sweats, grey sweatshirt, a very very messy bun, and an armful of cups. I quickly filled all my cups and bottles up with BHC water (best/coldest/yummiest water ever!) and, thoroughly pleased myself, quickly went back to D1. I was pleased that only two people saw me. :)


God. is. so. amazing. Desperately needing strength and wisdom and just...... Idk. And he gave me everything I needed for today. Lol, I mean he gives me everything I need every day. :)



Little Nothings of the Day

Posted on

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Dear friends (taken @ the beginning of the semester) 


and fun shoes! (taken in the D1 cubes.
It really is quite lovely up here. :) )
<-- Nothing like wearing pink pumps to bring a splash of color to an otherwise gloomy day. :)

This pretty much made my entire week. :)

Thank you. :)

P.S.

Posted on

Monday, March 14, 2011

"Fruit Happens." - Falls Church


"Stressed out. Running Late. Driving down the interstate." 
- Live a Little

P.S. My apologies to Seth for having to sit through this song twice,
but it's such a good driving song.
Don't make fun of my driving skills. ;) :)

Going no where
Circling round the
same old sun
We’ve been here far too
long

Here’s where all your
Dreams come true but tell me truly,
are they all you dreamed them to

In nowhere land insanity is king
The trick is that you think you’re always moving
In no where land illusion reigns supreme
Cause we’re frozen in nowhere land,

I don’t feel, and I can’t see,
Unless the king lets me be
I am not my own

Nothing’s real here,
Try and catch me
Reach your hand out
Touch the stars,
Did I forget to mention that they burn

In nowhere land insanity is king
The trick is that you think you’re always moving
In no where land illusion reigns supreme
Cause we’re frozen in nowhere land,

Nothing hurts
No one’s lost
No where’s here
Nothing’s real

I’m not hurt
I’m not lost
I am here
But am I real

In nowhere land insanity is king
The trick is that you think you’re always moving
In no where land illusion reigns supreme
Cause we’re frozen in nowhere land,

Where I’m not real



It's really laggy. Sorry bout that. 

NoWhere Land

Posted on

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The girl stood on the rocks with the water at her feet........

And The World Turned

Posted on

Sunday, March 6, 2011

P.S. I died my hair

HELLO!
Being all prim and proper and stuff. :)
It's early......
two hours of sleep are conducive to silly faces. :)

Peace out cub scout. 
Lame wifi! ;) :)
Been up since 4am..... ugh. 
Did I mention I've been up since 4?
Silly faces. :)