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Yes I already posted once today. Sawwy. :)
Here’s The Dealio:
For those of you who know me I like goals and I’m incredibly list happy; especially color-coded lists. Couple that with a lack of purpose in this blog and you have a need for reform. But what kind of reform you may ask? Well, I’ll start by setting a goal. However, I’ll need to give a little background first.
I’m sick. In fact, I’ve been sick for the past two and a half weeks. Granted, I only have a cough, sore throat, and exhaustion, but it’s still annoying. I need to clarify: I am not complaining at all, I’m simply stating the fact. When I look back over the last few months, in fact for quite some time, I always have some sort of small, quite minimal but still ever present sickness; whether it be an over reactive stomach, headaches, pain in my back etc. Now of course, I could credit this to some sort of disease in which case I would 1) be over reacting and 2) need to take more vitamins and supplements than I am already taking (which is a lot, let me tell you).
However, as I look back over the past… however long it’s been, and as I look at my life where it is now, I realize that I’m due for a lifestyle change. Reform as you call it. Now as I sat brooding over how to reform myself (my Western Civ book now limply sitting in my hands) I suddenly realized that I was going about this the wrong way.
I’m the kind of person who likes to “fix myself” in the sense that I think “You know what? I’m going to get more organized and eat better and exercise more spend at least three hours in the word and I’m going to pray more and love more and become a better person overall and become more self-less.” <- There is a HUGE problem with this way of thinking!! It’s all about me! I’M going to do this, and I’M going to do that. Well guess what?! I’M a no good sinner who can barely tie her shoes in the morning (funny story, let me tell you ;) :) ). So what is all of this getting to?
I need a lifestlye change, but not one that is focused on reforming myself, but rather taking the proper steps and allowing God to mold me and work in me in whatever way he wills. On the surface it may seem easy, but for a person who (now more than ever) wants to stay in control of herself (emotions, thoughts, etc.) this can become extremely hard. How does one go about reforming oneself, but by the power of the Holy Spirit?
Practical Applications:
I’m going to set goals for myself; physical, academic, relational, and emotional goals, but at the center will be my Spiritual goals. Now I would tell you what these goals are, but some of them are incredibly personal.
I’m tired of being sick. I’m tired of being sore. I’m tired of being exhausted. And don’t think these are all physical conditions. Always and only though the Lord’s strength, I want to be well; I want to be healed.
Closing Note:
I’m a realist. I do appreciate love, and optimism, and in several cases I tend to have optimistic tendencies, but at the end of the day I know what my reality is (or at least as much as the Lord has revealed to me). I know that I will never be fully healed, or fully well; after all we do live in a fallen world. But that doesn’t discourage me. Though I see things the way they are I pray that with the Lord’s help I will never stop fighting for what they could be. Cheezy? Yes. But I sincerely mean ever word of it.
I’m going to desperately try to keep a journal and chronicle my proceedings. I will check back with you in a month and tell you how everything is going. In the meantime, the “Little Nothings” and “Countless Inspirations” will continue to fill the walls of my humble little blog.
The Real Closing Note: ;) :)
I tend to get quite loquacious, but I did want to mention one more thing. I want to restate why I have this blog. Especially when it can seem pointless, it’s good to be reminded why I do this to being with. :)
It can become so easy to focus on the depression, hurt, anxiety, and stress in our lives. Sorrow seems to surround us, and it can be easy for to focus on that rather than God's perfect and never ever ending love for us.
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
God always gives us lemonade, we may just not realize it at the time.
That's what this blog is.
Just the lemonade. :)
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