Posts
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| Just made caramel chamomile tea and served it with my new tea pot. Thanks Natalie!!!! :) <3 |
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| See Nat! It matches!!! :) :) |
Not figuratively in any way.
However I absolutely adore rain. Again not in the figurative sense.
Last night was a gorgeous night. About a week ago, maybe longer, I repositioned my bed so it's right under my window. When I lay down I can look out at our christmas tree lights. Last night ::whistles:: what. a. wonder. The wind had the lights flinging wildly about, and the rain pelted at the roof as if begging to be let in. The wind too, was anxious to get inside. It howled at the window and flung leaves and small twigs, including the much hassled lights against the wall. I just lay there listening to the gorgeous rain pound down, safe under my (by this time quite warm) comforter. I'll have you know the covers were pulled all the way up into my chin and I felt completely enveloped in warmth (my bed is pretty cushy.... spongy? gushy? naw, cushy works best. Anyways, I kind of sink into it if I let myself).
- Monday and tuesday were both very relaxed.
Monday I rested most of the day (my body has been feeling exhausted lately).
Tuesday was a completely different story. For starters I had the first nightmare I've had in....maybe almost two weeks. Some crazed (and completely terrifying) serial killer was trying to kill me. I kept having to run, and hide, and figure out clues. At one point I made a call to a friend asking for help, but instead it was him and he said "No cheating" like it was a game. It was awful. So awful I woke up at 5:21 and it took 5 minutes to figure out it wasn't a dream. :P (I had my cell phone so I was able to check). Buuuuut, I managed to go back to sleep till 8:30. Dentist at 9. Made ladyfingers at 12 (thanks Nat <3. They were quite yummy). Gave them to the neighbors at 2:20ish.
(3:00pm) What does one do when one is alone and has a couple hours to one's self? One cleans. "One's room?", you might ask? No. "One's kitchen and one's room?" Again, no. When one has a couple hours to one's self and needs to relax one vacuums, sweeps, and pledges the entire house. The four front rooms, the bathroom, the hall, and the entry way, so that one's mother will be pleasantly surprised upon her arrival. Does this make one weird? Perhaps. Does one care? No.Another weird thing. Apparently I suddenly have an addiction to Sudoku. Mom and Grandma tried to get me into it a while back, but It just never stuck. Suddenly I'm doing 5-6 puzzles a day. o.O And we aren't talking easy. We're talking Moderate and Demanding. Where did this come from? How long will it last? One has no idea. ;) :)
This morning I woke up at about 8:30. I was exhausted, but nightmare free. :) After forcing myself to open my eyes I went into my parents bathroom to wash my face so I could be alert enough to read my bible. I opened the curtains and ::gasp:: the lawn was covered in a beautiful soft thin blanket of white, and it was snowing. :) This morning went by as usual. Devotions, breakfast, 2 sudoku puzzles, then I got my hair cut, then headed out to grants pass to have lunch with Natalie.
I'll try to summarize. hmmm ::thinks:: Who am I kidding. ;) :) We went to lunch at this lovely place with incredible food (I swear I won't be able to eat for a day ;)). Then we drove into town, stopped off to get tea, then to evangel, then to this little old fashioned soda shop for a milkshake (for me) and a sundae (for her). Then I had to head home. I had such a lovely lovely time with Natalie. She has been such a huge encouragement, not to mention sooooo much fun to hang out with. She got me the most adorable little teapot as a going away present. It's a soft grass green, with a steeper and everything. It will go perfect with my green tea cup. Pictures will come soon. :D She's the best! :) <3
::sighs:: Oh mother. She is so sweet. Lately she's been overcompensating due to my going away in.... 9 days.... o.O oh boy. Anyway, so today she and daniel took down the tree while I was in Grants Pass. I came home to an empty but very beautiful clean living room. Then, about 30 minutes later she comes home with... what could it be? A new tree! ::laughs:: She was worried that I would be upset that I didn't get to help take it down. Luckily it was on sale, but we (my brother, my mom, and I) all had a good laugh about it. It was so very sweet of her. :) I love her dearly. (We're all a little scared about how my Dad will react.
Another thing. I love being able to confide in people. Mostly Nat, Meg, and Daniel. Friends are wonderful, but there's nothing like your own brother to lean on. Especially when he's an entire head taller than you. ;) :)
Well, that's enough. God bless and keep you all safe and very healthy. May you guard your way and heart according to his word. I love you all as Christ calls us to. :)
Please take care.
~Belle
P.S. Do you think I should get a new template or does this work?
I have so much on my mind I don't even know where to begin. :) The beginning usually is a good place to start..... A very good place to start. :)
(Sorry in advance for the length and weird spacing) :)
Summary: - Christmas Eve: The candlelight service was absolutely gorgeous. Everything ran very smoothly, including the powerpoint (if I do say so myself. ;) :)) except for one song that wasn't actually my fault. :) The kids sang two carols, the readings were beautiful, and the choir sounded a.ma.zing. Way to go mom!!! :) As I heard Pastor Dale elaborating on the gift of salvation, for the first time I truly felt it as a gift. I still take my salvation for granted, but after everything the Lord has brought me through, I truly was overwhelmed by how incredible the gift of Jesus Christ is. I'm not really a person who likes gifts. I loooooove giving them, but I never want anything. Seriously, my family had a really hard time knowing what to get me. I told them I really didn't want anything. I realized that as long as I have Jesus Christ, I honestly didn't want anything else. Everything else seemed so........ fading. So unsatisfying. All I want is the Lord. He is sooooooo incredible! :) Now if I can only live this out. Therein lies the challenge. ;) :)
- Christmas: was lovely. Daniel and I slept in till 9:40.....sooooo lovely. :) This christmas was much smaller than usual, but mom and I can honestly say it was the best christmas ever. Daniel and I went all out on my parents. It was pretty awesome. I got a giant very very fluffy bumble bee, and the tangled sound track among a few other small things here and there, but those two were my favorite. :)
-Best Christmas Present Ever: It was mom's turn to open a present so Daniel fished under the tree and pulled out a cylindrical looking object and handed it to my mother. It was from Dad. Mom took off the top bit of wrapping to reveal one of her own mason jars. "oOo! I get my own jam" she teased. However after removing all the wrapping paper, we saw that it was empty with a bunch of different colored slips of paper. Mom unscrewed the top and as she read the strips allowed, she started crying (which isn't altogether surprising, but even I thought it was wonderful). Here's what the colorful coupons read:
1. Movie night;
2. Barnes&Noble 1hr w/me :);
3. Dinner you and I only
4. Date Night
5. Your Choice
6. Shopping Trip for workout clothes (a. my mom really wants some, b. Dad going shopping anywhere is a huge sacrifice. :))
7. Lunch
8. Trip to see Isabelle if need to. (with an adorable crying face :))
9. Prayer time with me
10. Take a walk
11. Buy a prayer book together
This is possibly the sweetest present I have ever seen given. Beats anything you could ever buy.
Sunday morning service was possibly my favorite sermon ever!!! Pastor Dale equipped us with 11 (plus a bonus point ;)) incredible scripture passages that we should take into 2011. When I saw the first passage it was like a huge explosion happened in my heart and I suddenly though "YES! This is exactly what I need!!!!." From there it just got better. My goal? Memorize all 11 (+1) passages. :)
Psalm 119: 9-16
(Typed from memory) How can a young man (or woman) keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments. I have stored up your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Blessed are you O Lord; teach me your statues. With my lips I declare all the rules of your mouth. In the way of your testimonies I delight as much as in all riches. I will meditate o your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways. I will delight in your statues; I will not forget your word.
This certain passage revealed so many different things to me!
1. I have struggled with keeping my way pure from evil for such a long time and so often I have despaired to the point of doing stupid hurtful things to myself, especially when allowing myself to be ruled by my sinful desires. So often I have cried out to the Lord asking him to give me the strength, and I will read his word, and pray as much as I can and nothing works. I would still fall into sin! Now, I'm not saying, by any means, that just because I start memorizing scripture I'll suddenly be cured of my desires and miraculously become the first pure person since Jesus. :P I will struggle just as much, if not more, since I will be granted more freedom as I grow up. However, I will be equipped with a tool I didn't have before. God's word, in my head, whenever I need it. How in the world can I keep my way pure? God tells me!!! By guarding my way according to his word. The Psalmist, and in fact solomon, talks about how important it is to hide God's word in your heart! This is why!!! So that we might keep our ways pure! So excited to start memorizing.
2. This will be shorter I promise. ;) :) Most of you all know what I mean when I say "voices in your head." Mine, like many others, never ever ever shuts up. It's relentless. Sometimes it's as simple as laying in bed and not being able to sleep because I keep hearing "Make sure to do the laundry tomorrow" "Did you start the dishes?" "What time is your appointment etc. (not in the weird schizophrenic way just the normal way). However, sometimes, I'll be playing out scenarios in my head, and due to my imagination and nightmares they can sometimes get horrific. What I've been doing to try and force myself to stop thinking is counting. ya know.... 1... 2... 3... 4.... 5.... 6.... 7.... 8.... 9.... etc. Until I fall asleep or can focus on something happier. It also goes the same way for sinful things like malicious thoughts. Now that I'll have scriptures I can use those to strengthen and help me. The Lord's word is so wonderful isn't it! :)
3. The Lord is always talking about keeping your mind from evil. In the old testament it was just about doing something wrong, but in the new testament even if you think about it it's sin. Which makes sense. For instance, most people don't just suddenly commit adultery or murder without first thinking about it. Murder is just hate gone very very wrong. So if we allow ourselves to entertain sinful thoughts, the leap from thought to action won't be as big. Which is why it is soooooo important to memorize God's word so that when we are faced with trials and tribulations and temptations we can get strength and encouragement right from our loving all-powerful father Himself. There! This one was shorter. ;) :)
College: In other news I leave for college in 11 days..... ::deep breath:: I am sooooo ready. I have everything I'm going to bring it's just a matter of packing it. Kira and I are both very excited to be roommates. :) I'm really looking forward for a chance to start over. Begin a new chapter. Move on from everything that is dragging me down and holding me back. I'll also be able to completely focus on the Lord (or so I hope). I really really need this. I need this chance to clear my head and begin anew. I'm nervous of course. But my excitement far outweighs that. Plus I'll have some very dear friends to come alongside me and pray and strengthen me.
OH!!!! And I can't WAIT to get my friend a birthday present. ;) ;) :) Actually my two friends. My bestie Meghan, and my dear sweet friend Tamara. I still can't believe I get to be in town for her birthday! So awesome! :) :) :)
Alright, now I'm just rambling. :) Goodbye everyone. Until next time. :) Never ever forget that God is our stronghold. To Him should we cling above all else!! Thank the Lord for friends and family that we can go to in times of trouble. It is in Him that I rest all my trust and hope!
God bless you
~ Isabelle
It's not a problem it's a challenge."
-Last Five Years
::sings loudly to her new soundtrack as she dances and cleans with her new jumbo sized plushy bumble bee::
7 AM, the usual morning lineup
Start on the chores and sweep 'til the floor's all clean
Polish and wax, do laundry, and mop and shine up
Sweep again, and by then it's like 7:15
And so I'll read a book
Or maybe two or three
I'll add a few new paintings to my gallery
I'll play guitar and knit
And cook and basically
Just wonder when will my life begin?
Then after lunch it's puzzles and darts and baking
Paper mache, a bit of ballet and chess
Pottery and ventriloquy, candle making
Then I'll stretch, maybe sketch, take a climb
Sew a dress!
And I'll reread the books
If I have time to spare
I'll paint the walls some more
I'm sure there's room somewhere
And then I'll brush and brush
and brush and brush my hair
Stuck in the same place I've always been
And I'll keep wanderin' and wanderin'
And wanderin' and wonderin'
When will my life begin?
And tomorrow night
Lights will appear
Just like they do on my birthday each year
What is it like
Out there where they glow?
Now that I'm older
Mother might just
Let me go...
Also sang the spell song. :)
I still need a name for him. :)
Start on the chores and sweep 'til the floor's all clean
Polish and wax, do laundry, and mop and shine up
Sweep again, and by then it's like 7:15
And so I'll read a book
Or maybe two or three
I'll add a few new paintings to my gallery
I'll play guitar and knit
And cook and basically
Just wonder when will my life begin?
Then after lunch it's puzzles and darts and baking
Paper mache, a bit of ballet and chess
Pottery and ventriloquy, candle making
Then I'll stretch, maybe sketch, take a climb
Sew a dress!
And I'll reread the books
If I have time to spare
I'll paint the walls some more
I'm sure there's room somewhere
And then I'll brush and brush
and brush and brush my hair
Stuck in the same place I've always been
And I'll keep wanderin' and wanderin'
And wanderin' and wonderin'
When will my life begin?
And tomorrow night
Lights will appear
Just like they do on my birthday each year
What is it like
Out there where they glow?
Now that I'm older
Mother might just
Let me go...
Also sang the spell song. :)
I still need a name for him. :)
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| This adorable "Pet Pillow" was picked out especially by my 13 yr old cousin Charlie. :) Best present ever. |
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"If you get lonely at college just hug your pet pillow and you won't bee. <--- haha" -Jack and Charlie. :) |
Wow, I don't even know where to begin. The last couple of days have been incredibly busy, and a wee bit stressful. Most of it is self-inflicted. ;) :) I'm usually most alert when I'm cleaning the kitchen. There have been so many times when I'm washing a plate or sweeping the floor, and suddenly I think of a wonderful analogy for life. However, I've been trying to not post quite as much. Only post every couple of days. Another thing is posting when I see other people posting that way I don't become a compulsive poster. :) I suppose I could start with an update. Warning: This is going to be a long one because of everything that's been going on. :)
I last posted on monday and while I could take time to rave about the ball, I don't really have the brain capacity to think that far back. All I remember is that my favorite dance was my first one with the best dance partner Devin Kruse (he's tagged in the video on facebook), my feet really hurt by the end of the dance, and I should have never gone to Shari's and stayed up till 2:30. Big mistake.
::runs and grabs monthly planner so she can remember what she did::
So, here we go. :)
Monday: You know what I love about winter? It really doesn't matter what shirt you wear, as long as you have a stylish warm winter coat. So even though I had an appointment at 10:00 after an incredibly late night, all I had to do was roll out of bed at 9:30, grab a sweatshirt, pull on my lovely new black coat and a pair of jeans, and I was out the door (I've been getting into the habit of wearing make-up only when I have to. Let's not even talk about my hair. :)) After my appointment I drove to the store, got some ingredients, and made cookies.
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| Snow Drop Cookies |
Tuesday: Was another earlyish morning. I had a dentist appointment at........ ::checks planner:: 11:45am. I guess it isn't that early. :) I had to get my night guard fitted. Let me tell you, if there was ever a contraption designed specifically to make someone as uncomfortable as possible without inflicting pain, this would definitely be it. :P After the appointment I ran a few errands, then dropped off the cookies to the people they were intended for. About 2ish I texted my bestie Meg and we decided to go out to dinner to exchange gifts and have one last little outing (not including her birthday which is coming up). We ended up going to Red Robin, then Coldstone, then home for two episodes of Castle, and an episode of Psych. Yay Netflix and Hulu! :)
Wednesday: First off, I would just like to say how blessed I am to have such amazing friends. One in particular is my very dear friend Natalie Emmons. I don't want to embarrass her too much, but I would just like to point out how incredibly sweet and encouraging she can be. I adore hanging out with her. We have such wonderful and deep talks, but at the same time most of our time is also spent laughing and being funny. :)
After making the 45 minute drive home I got busy in the kitchen and made two swedish tea rings. Every year mom makes her famous tea ring for all three pastors, but this year she has been really busy with getting the christmas cards ready, organizing everything with the choir, and preparing for the christmas eve service, so yours truly made her first tea rings for two of the three pastors. These aren't just an ordinary tea rings. Each one takes about three hours, and they require a ton of concentration because if one things goes wrong, the entire batch is wasted. However, I made and delivered them successfully, and according to Anne (the daughter of our head pastor) the tea ring was gone by this morning. :)
Thursday... Today: Woke up at 8:30ish. Again. :) After praying and reading my bible I went into the kitchen and started baking. I stayed in the kitchen from 9:00-3:30 without leaving. I made another tea ring for the millers, a batch of baklava for the Steinhorsts, a huge plate of rice crispies and a chocolate souffle cake for the Miller's christmas party.
Ok, believe it or not baking is incredibly tiring. Especially when it's not just chocolate chip cookies. So after cleaning the kitchen several times, and baking everything, I was completely worn out. And we hadn't even gotten to the party yet. :P :) However, it was very refreshing to change into nice clothes and go have an incredible dinner (thank you Mrs. Miller :) ) With about 22 other people. :)
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| Tea Ring |
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| Batter for the chocolate souffle cake |
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| Favorite. :) A mountain of holiday rice crispie treats. :) |
For all of you girls who love hearing about the fashion bits, here's how I tried to look christmasy without overdoing it or taking any time. I wore a dark cranberry dress/shirt over an olive green cami, with a brown belt, leggings, and black boots. A tiny bit of mascara, a darker lip, and curling just the bottom of my hair, made the appearance quick, easy, and without looking over done (I hope :)). Two more make-up things: One- if you want to go dramatic either pick the eyes or the lips. If you do a smoke eye with a dark lip, I've head, it can look over done. So just pick one to play with. :) Two: This is definitely the season for darker lips. I'm not talking black, but if you can find a dark cranberry, or a fitting purple (more redish purple, not barney purple. ;) :)) it can really pull a whole look together. :)The party really was lovely, and after we came home we watched an episode of Psych. I am not completely worn out and though I would love to talk about all the different analogies I have thought of, this post is already quite long enough, and it's high time I go to bed. Busy next couple of days, but hopefully both mom and I will be able to really rest before we have to start getting ready for my departure. I leave in two weeks from Friday (which is in 6 minutes).
Speaking of which, there will be a short little gathering before we leave for the airport Friday afternoon before I leave at my house. Details to come. :)
Sometime very soon I am going to post about how absolutely incredible God is.
He is so good.
And so forgiving.
::sighs::
I love you all.
Always praying.
Always Hoping.
In God we trust.
Alone.
(Sorry about the weird spacing)
Sunsets. Almost every girl I've ever talked to, whether they are romantics or not, are willing to admit that there is something special about watching a sunset with your loved one.
Walking on the beach as the sun slips over the horizon, the last bits of light playing and dancing on the waves that quietly lap at the shore line. The wind gathers up her hair as they walk in silence, hand in hand. Neither one of them say a word, and yet nothing needs to be said. Everything is seen in the way they look at each other.However, while I love sunsets, they can't compare to the beauty of a sunrise. Some might say that they are pretty much the same thing, but it isn't a sunrises outward appearance that I find so appealing. Rather it's the application that a rising sun gives. A setting sun signifies an end. Those last bits of light signify the last bits of hope, before a bit of your world is encased in darkness. A sunset is an end. However, a rising sun signifies a beginning. Darkness covers all, but just when you think that the end has been set in stone, suddenly a burst light springs over the hilltops. Your breath catches as you watch as the sun stretches, yawns, then shines it's face on the world, filling it with light and hope. A sunset closes, ends. A sunrise begins.
Then of course there's that moment in time, the snap shot of a sun peaking over the horizon. Is it setting? Is it rising? Is this an end? Is this a beginning? You can't tell. Perhaps it's the beginning of an end. The last door closing. But maybe, (and you pray and hope that it's the case) just maybe, it's a fresh start. A new beginning. A sunrise.
"Joy comes in the morning"
SUMMARY:
- My dress has been fitted. The mask has been selected and customized. I'm ready for a ball.
- Last night I slept. I didn't think I would. In all honesty I didn't want to, but I did, and it helped more than I could have imagined.
- This morning I picked up my dress, and watched movies. I was exhausted and to be able to just relax on the couch felt so incredible. I watched Penelope and a cute little flick called Someone Like You. The movie was refreshingly clean for the most part, and the main character reminded me a lot of me.
- At five I slipped into my thick coat and headed over to Anne's. Once I got there the six girls (Ely, Heidi, Stephanie, Anne, Emily, and I) all piled into Anne's car, and headed to the Ashland "Ice Skating in the Park." Once there we met up with Christian, Elizabeth, John, and Brittany. We skated for a little less than two hours. It was so beautiful and refreshing. I made a complete fool of myself, but it was wonderful to be out in the cool air. About 40 minutes into the skating it started to rain. It wasn't quite as good as snow, but it made the rink sparkle, and the christmas lights appear magical. On the not so magical side we all got soaked to the bone. :) We drove home and after warming up and eating an assortment of crackers, apples that were red on the inside (who knew?) and pizza, we gathered in the family room and did a white elephant gift exchange. One of gifts was an oversized hideous yellow sponge bob shirt. The girls have decided to trade off. The rule: We all have to wear it in a public place and take a picture. :) I then picked up Daniel, and we went home.
Made a fool of myself. :)
- Our family is really getting into the TV show Psyche. We watched a couple episodes, and I had to pry myself away in order to write this blog post.
- The next couple of days are going to be hectic. Prayers appreciated.
It's all about Perspective.
My mom got in from working at about 2:30ish. We talked about Daniel, and Dad and everything that has been going on. I complained loudly
"What a christmas this is turning out to be! Dad's back! Now Daniel tore his meniscus and might need surgery! There's all the stuff going on with me! I'm headed off to college! ERRRGGGHHH"Mom gently corrected me telling me that I needed to, like my wise father, put things in perspective. I can't properly convey the wisdom and calmness with which she spoke, I can only communicate the effect it had on me.
I realized a lot of my life is spent worrying over very silly petty things. Will I have enough money to go to college? Will I be able to stay well? Will anyone ever love me? What if I marry the wrong guy? What if I'm going to the wrong college? The last few months have been spent in constant worry. I am not trusting God at all. I've always known that this has been an issue. In essence everyone who gets worried to the point of obsession is lacking God's trust but it wasn't until today that it hit me just how far I have fallen in trusting Him. All these things that I want to hold to, and worry about, and stress over; they are all part of His plan. His glorious, unknowable plan for my life. I can only see my life and the world through my two very very very very tiny little eyes. I need to put things in perspective. This life is not about me, but every time I worry and I try to focus on what I need and what I want and what I will make me happy, I lose sight of the true joy and the true happiness that I can only find through Jesus Christ.
Sorry, that thought process was a bit jumbled and was really hard to communicate, but it needed saying.
Joy comes in the morning. A promise I hold fast to.
Side note: 21 days till college (AH!)
I love you all.
Always Praying.
Always Hoping.
In God we trust.