Sunday afternoon. Dad and I lean over tangles and messes of christmas lights. Somehow he sees order in the chaos and picks out which lights go where. I really have no idea how he does it. Soon enough, however, I'm leaning over a long string of lights on sticks, and driving the sticks into the ground along the "south side planter." We plug the lights in and notice that about 6 of them are dead. Or are they? Dad says to wiggle them around to make sure they're screwed all the way in. I start with the one closest to the road. After some twisting and turning it suddenly bursts with light, right there in my hand. It felt so good to make something light up like that. Sure enough about half the lights were working just fine. After replacing the ones that were dead we discovered a problem with one of the fixtures. It seemed that it was broken. Dad took the good ole WD40 on it and cleaned it up. I watched him as he twisted the bulb carefully in place. It still would not light. We knew it was a new bulb. Dad tried twisting it hard when... SMASH! The bulb shattered into a million pieces.

I realized humans are like that. We all can function. We can all light up a someone's world. But if that someone, or if anything else happens and we are dealt with harshly we shatter. Just like that. Into a million pieces. And there's nothing we can do about our shattered little selves but wait for someone to come and put us back together again. Of course we won't ever be able to light up the same way, but if you get the right person, and the right amount of care, we may just sparkle like we once did...... Enough of this. It's depressing. :P :) :) :) :)

After scrambling about looking for extra sticks and checking all the light bulbs the south planter is done and the front of our house is starting to twinkle. Next it was up... up... Up... on the rooftop and around the edge of the roof and soon our house was looking like a dazzling array of magic and sparkle. I can't wait to bring out the reindeer. ;) :) :)

***
I had an odd dream last night. In broad prospective it wasn't that odd. Just a typical nightmare in which I run, but this was different. As you read on, please be aware that I have dreams like this often and have gotten used to them. This one was just a lot different than usual.

Usually, I always start out with a large group of people (the worser ones are when I'm with people I love), and then after I've been running a while I find I am by myself. The people I'm running from are usually trying to kill me. Either by shooting at me or kidnapping me. I have never been caught. I've gotten to a "safe place" once. Other than that I've always awakened in the middle of running.


Last night, I was in a place very much like bethel church, a church that sits on the side of the hill. The side of the hill itself was heavily wooded and steep, at the bottom was a river. Across that river was a fence. Across that fence was a field of marsh. I don't know what lay beyond that. At the beginning of my dream I didn't know this, but you'll see how I found out.          
                                                                                                                      
The dream started out as normal. I was surrounded by people I loved. Lots of small children I had previously taught in sunday school, as well as most of the younger siblings of my friends, as well as some older very dear friends. We were there for some conference, and I was supposed to be helping serve food. I had a group of young ones helping me carry plates of food to the empty tables. I knew there were other people in the building. You could hear them through the walls, loud and obnoxious. Suddenly, without warning I saw them begin to pour out the side of the building along the street that ran across the hill and seemingly around the hill. I knew something was wrong. I could feel it. A certain terror rose to my throat, and I knew I had to get the kids out of there. The children and I ran outside with the great throng of people. We were almost to a safe place safe when I turned and I realized someone I loved was still back in the church. I turned and to my horror I saw the place in flames. Someone had sent up a small explosion that had set the place on fire.


I ran as fast as I could against the tide of people searching for my friend, but I couldn't distinguish any one face clearly. By the time I got back to the church I was alone. Everyone had fled. I ran in through the part of the church that was charred but not on fire. I flipped over boards as my stomach sank into my feet. Luckily everyone had escaped. Everyone but me. I ran out to the patio and looked over the side of the hill, over the forrest. I turned and nearly screamed. There was someone standing behind me. Several feet away. Stock still. I knew this person. I had seen this person before, but this person had been altered almost beyond recognition. She smiled, and terror filled ever part of me. This person came at me. I jumped over the balcony and landed on my side.

I rushed into the woods, running, tripping, skidding down the side of the hill, all the while terror caught in my throat. I could hear the person behind me as I skidded through the trees. I abruptly came to the edge of the woods and almost teetered into the rushing river. I looked behind me and could see the person moving at lightening speed toward me. Without a second thought I dove in, but my head never went under the water (that's the weird thing about dreams. They don't make sense when it comes to logistics). I started swimming to the other side. I wanted to see if the person was still following me. I turned and there she was, on the side of the river bank, grinning. She had a small bomb in her hands (I've  never seen a really bomb, but I know what the cartoon ones look like so that's what it was. All the same it was terrifying). The person laughed and threw it to the other side of the river. I now could choose between death by the person or death by explosion. I made my choice.

I swam down stream with the current, knowing I had little time left. When I figured I was a good distance away I swam to the opposite side (from where the person had been standing), and climbed up onto the bank, but I had no time to rest. Gripping my sides I ran/trudged as fast as I could through heavy underbrush. Knowing I was running out of time. I was covered in filth, but I didn't seem to feel it. I scratched myself while climbing carefully through the strings of barbed wire that served as a fence. Then suddenly in my head I seemed to realize I was about to die, I forced myself to run just a little bit longer....

3..... 2..... 1.....

BEEP!!!!!!!!
My alarm. 
I woke up...

...with a small scratch on my arm. I had worn my watch to bed. 

That was my dream. Pretty much verbatim. The odd part was the bomb. The feeling of the count down. The explosion and what not. 

My massage therapist said that I probably was dealing with a lot of fear and anxiety. I should have told her I was going to college. No duh. ;) :) :) :) She was very helpful and my back feels much better. 

On a much happier note, I lost my purity ring. ::laughs:: ok, so that's not the happy part. The happy part is that I got it replaced with the one exactly like it. It looks even prettier cause the stone is a tad bit darker. For those of you who have never seen it, the ring is a gold band with a the dark green four sided garnet set on it. The ring doesn't not look like an engagement or wedding ring in anyway. It's very original. :) This picture won't do it justice. 


I was practically giddy when I got it. 

NOTE TO GUYS: When buying a ring try to find a jewelry manufacturer. The kind that actually sells to the bigger stores. See, stores like Tiffany's and Kay Jewelers, they're all very nice, but they buy their rings from private manufacturers, and then mark them up at least 200-300% of what they're worth. My ring is about 1/20 of the price at the bigger jewelers, and it's just as real as the ones you see in stores.

Another option is to become a mason and help build the vault of a private jeweler and then become friends with him. ;) :)

Well that is quite enough for now. 

God bless 

It's That Time of Year

Posted on

Monday, December 6, 2010

2 Comments
Me said...

Hey Belle,
Dang... thats quite a post. :P I'm a little surprised though that you have nightmares often... I guess you just don't seem the kind of girl that ever gets scare. :D All I know is Psalm 56:3 "What time I am afraid, I put my trust in thee" (including getting ready for college) :) Hope all is going well. I'm heading back down to Oregon tomorrow and maybe I'll see ya while i'm down there.

--Kaleb--

P.S. I love the Christmas light analogy!

Isabelle Nicole said...

Thanks!! See you on Saturday? Definitely on sunday! :)