I got out of bed on the wrong side today. This makes sense because the right side is shoved against my wall so getting out of bed that direction would include me running into a wall. Not that I haven't done that before, but all the same. 


Funny how it's most often all the little things that get under your skin. Ya know? Like you wake and as you're walking out the door still half asleep, you bang your foot against the wall. Then maybe later, you, oh I don't know, run into a door. Or your bangs get cut too short. Or you spend all afternoon working on one thing, and then realize that all your work was pointless because you can't use it. Overall it was a good day, but as you slink to bed, all you can think of is your aching head, your stubbed toe, and the mass amount of documents you had to delete. It's times like these when you have to.....juice the lemon and try to make as much lemonade as you can. BUT! What if you lost the recipe?????? Then you just have a bunch of lemon juice lying around. What are you supposed to do with a bunch of lemon juice? Beats me. 


::grins:: Ok, so I'm being a bit melodramatic.....Ok, so I'm being a lot melodramatic. =D However, what if.......


You go to bed and you feel that the day had no purpose. It was just one hour after another. 


Looking back:
~A lot was accomplished
~I started the day out with the Lord
~The Lord gave me strength to get through the day


Then why:
~Does it sometimes feel so pointless
~Am I falling back into habits I tried so desperately to run away from
~Do I get that sinking feeling that what I was battling (with the Lord's strength) so long and hard for, I am losing any ground I covered. 


All we can do is cling to him. That's what I will do. He's the one who gives me the lemonade. ::laughs:: There's an analogy for you. =) God is the sugar to our sour lemon juice. ::beams:: or for all you fellow romantics, your love is the sugar to lemon juice. :)


Btw, I am going to be taking a month of absence starting August 1. I'll explain more later. Please don't panic. 


I have "Dance With Me Darling," from Bat Boy stuck in my head. I will post the lyrics to the main part. =)


There was love in your eyes.
You were so light in my arms,
We danced five hours or more,
We were the last on the floor,
With the soon still to rise...
The band played one final song,
And you were humming along:

Oh, dance with me, darling
we haven't danced since I don't know when.


Dance with me, darling,
Won't you embrace me?
Kiss me in case we don't meet again.
I've heard a rumour,
Barely a whisper,
Claiming that we were through.
So dance with me, darling
Show them that it's not true.


P.S. I like blogs. Not just mine. =)

Life Goes On:
Something feels weird though. I'm not sure what. 


So far life has been falling back into its normal pace. I started school: Physics, Pre-Calc, and The Westminster Confession of Faith (history). It's alright I guess. I miss my friends though. I miss everyone on the east coast, and I miss everyone up north. A lot of missing, and a lot of working.

~For those of you who don't like nitty gritty details, skip this next part


Monday:
Up at 6:45 devotions till 8, school for the next three hours, lunch and a little speech from 12-2 My loverly friend Carsen came over at 2:00. I really really miss her! She's gotten taller and so now I can't give her the most amazing hugs ever. =( Then at 6:30 I played sand volleyball with some friends of mine. Overall it was a relaxing day.

Tuesday:
Same as the yesterday. At 12:00 I went to the country club with my dad and watched my brother play some amazing golf. Then I cam home and spent most of the afternoon on apologetics. I only wrote two cards, but I'm really happy with them. I can sometimes be a perfectionist which makes Apologetics hard. =P =)

Those of you who skipped that last part, start here.
I'm not really sure what else to say. I really don't have a whole lot to say. I guess.....I'm tired. =) Seriously though, my mind is wide awake, but my body is tired. I don't really know why. I'm sure it will pass, but for now my body is very weary.

That's it for now. I really don't want to have another dream. =) I probably will though.

I'm praying for everyone. I really want to make people happy. Sorry if I disappoint.

I'm buying this tomorrow. =)

Five weeks, a little over 7000 miles, 6 states, a handful of cities, three amazing families, and one incredible God guiding me the whole time.

This trip has been life changing. Cheezy, I know, but it really has. The Lord has given me the strength to trust in Him more than I ever have. The peace he has given me is incredible, and he has drawn me to Him in ways that I can't even begin to explain.

Silly fact: I got home 5 (we made the 720 mile trip in 10 1/2 hours) and started cleaning and didn't stop till 9. I did all my laundry, cleaned out my closet, got rid of a ton of old stuff, etc. :) It was very relaxing.

For those of you who haven't seen me when I'm at home and trying to release stress, I clean. I don't know why it helps. Maybe it's the fact that it's something to focus on that requires all of my attention, but I can do it for a long time because it doesn't require too much energy. I don't know. :)


The last two days have unfolded in ways that were.....unexpected? yeah. Completely unexpected. 

My prayer is that God would give me love. Copious amounts of it at that. It is hard to love. Did you know that? ::laughs:: Did you know that it's hard for me to love? ::laughs softly:: Did you know that I'm not used to love being a hard thing? But through God all things are possible, and I will hold fast to that promise. 

After I was done cleaning, I finally cleaned myself. ::grins:: I took a ten minute shower.....Yeah, that's a big deal for me. :) It was really nice. Now I am clean, and all lotioned up, and very ready to sleep. So goodnight my dear friends.

The last few chapters of my life have been interesting. Each page was different from the last and it wasn't always for the better. There were days when I didn't want to have to turn the page. I didn't want to know what came next, cause I didn't want to leave the page I was on. Then there were days where I wanted to skip ahead the good parts. Of course there were also days when I was so tired I didn't even care what happened next. However, this chapter is over. A new chapter is beginning. A new start.

I'm excited

I don't like going to sleep before other people. I'm not sure why, but it's always the slightest bit unsettling.



Maybe it's because nothing can happen to them while they're asleep, so I like knowing when they're asleep.



Or I'm just crazy :)

Wow.

17 years. 

The Lord has taught me so much this past year. 
~Things about me.
~Things about others.
~Things about letting go.
~Things about holding on.
~Most of all things about trust.

*I thought about writing something really profound. But I'm too happy and bubbly to think about something deep to write. :)

Summary of today:


Well, I woke up. I know! Shocker right! :D :D :D I actually slept in which was really nice. I also skipped my workout. I'm regretting that now, but you can't have it all. Anyway, so I got up and changed into my bathing suit cause we had plans to go to a water park.

I've only been to one water park and it was a little itty bitty one in Oregon, and I haven't been in forever. Also, I've only been to disneyland once and I couldn't ride anything. :)


But then our plans were postponed for a little, so I walked around in my bathing suit and sweats. I really really love sweats. :D So anyway, I ran around like that for a while, read a book, and checked email and trying to figure out flight stuff. :) THEN we went to the water park around 2. We only got to go on one ride because the lines were so long, but I loved it. :) It was so much fun to just hang out with Darby, eat ice cream, and reminisce. ;) :) We then came home, and ate some INCREDIBLE honey roasted shrimp.

I loved all of my gifts. More than that, I loved the thought that was put into them. Delaney got me the cutest stuffed penguin. It's really fuzzy, small, and named Waddles. She also got me two kit-kats. It was so sweet of her, and now I have an airplane buddy. :D Maili (age 8) made me several cards, and some lotion that had been handed down to her through her sisters (she said it had been gone through 3 generations. It was so adorable). <3 Erin Claire (age 9) gave me a picture that she painted. It was of Ernie and Bert. She also gave me a tiny knit purse and a knit bookmark. It was incredibly sweet. Then Reilly (age 4) after much coaxing gave me a hug for my birthday. He was quite red, the darling boy. :)

Now we're watching "While You Were Sleeping" then "The Italian Job." I love Darby so much. Of all the places in the world that I would want to spend my birthday, there are only two other places I would rather be. I can't be in the other two places, so I am very happy to be here. :)

"Nice coat, nice hat, nice smile, Merry Christmas, will you marry me, I love you!"

It rained today. It was a pleasant surprise, and a pleasant reminder. :)

I also love rainbows.